Today has been a decent day. I have been keeping my self busy. I decided to clean my room as if I was him. Only the neccesary things are visible. Already it makes me feel better.
I still have a long way to go.
One of the things I miss the most about him, that I truly took for granted was that he always let me be myself. It didn't matter how silly I was, or how childish, he accepted me for who I was.
I on the other hand, spent most of our time trying to change him, and giving him a hard time for being who he was.
He is not humpty dumpty, and I can not put him back together again, I know that he will never trust or love me the way he once did. I am finally at the point where I understand that.
When he has healed, and enough time passes, perhaps he will find a new girl, one with shining eyes, and big dreams, one who wants to love him as much as she loves herself. A girl who makes him feel like the luckiest man in the world because she loves him.
A girl who is not afraid not to be in the spotlight, one who doesn't need to be coddled.
A girl who is independent, but not distant.
Maybe someday, that girl will be me.
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